Miscellany 1

  Innocent Smoothies                                  

 It seems to be the decade of the smoothie. I mean the “health” drink, not people who are a little slick and pull lots of girls without even trying. Smoothies, as I’m sure everyone knows, are made from pure fruit. It’s all mashed-up together, blended and then served in bottles that are so small that you only manage to get two swigs out of them before having to go back and buy another to quench the rest of your thirst. This is the modern world's answer to the lack of good food that we eat. This, we are told, goes a long way to making up our seven portions of fresh fruit and veg a day. Sounds fantastic, doesn’t it?

There is a down side. These “smoothies”, despite being sold in disproportionately small bottles, are very expensive. For a small bottle, you can expect to pay about £2. Two pounds, ladies and gentlemen.

Now, if you have one smoothie per day - as the advertising companies would clearly like you to - that might make you a smidgin healthier, but you would be spending around £14 a week. That’s a lot of money, and that’s only for a small bottle.

Imagine the damage to your savings if you were to have a LARGE smoothie everyday ...

I’ve done some maths here, and I think that I should share my findings with you all. I have uncovered, ladies and gentlemen, the shocking truth of it all. The fact is that if, instead of having a large smoothie a day, you took the money that you would have spent on them and put it away somewhere safe, at the end of the month you would have saved up more than enough to pay off your mortgage and to pay for a two week holiday in a private villa in Tuscany too.

Medical Appointment 

It seems that the only way to get a medical operation these days is either to wait 75 years or  to go the quick route: Go Private. The trouble is that going private costs an arm and a leg, and by the time you have sold your arm and leg for a good rate on the black market - or Ebay, as it is more commonly known - there are more pressing things to worry about than the one in-growing toenail that you originally wanted sorting out ... such as the small fact that you now find yourself with one shoe too many, and, though you have the money, are now unable to pay the doctor because the arm you auctioned off on Ebay  was the one that writes the cheques.




1 Response to "Miscellany 1"

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contribs editor

Sun, 05/28/2006 - 01:24
I chuckled at your observations about the delicious but pricey smoothie drinks. I'm often tempted into a purchase when I visit my local Marks & Spencers. In my quest to adhere to a 5 portions of fruit and veg a day regime, I' ve developed a taste for their exotic flavours, however I wince at the cost for what literally amounts to "a couple of gulps and its gone" drink. I usually find that a M & S chocolate eclair or fresh cream choux bun in my shopping basket makes all of this healthy living malarkey seem a lot better. Naughty but nice!