Nervy first meeting with your in-laws-to-be

Chloe Miller

Everyone feels nervous when planning the first meeting with their partner's parents. But if things go well, it can be a great step for your relationship. My tip is, do your best to impress them because this will improve your relationship with your beloved one too.

Before the meeting, let your partner tell you some basics about their life. What they like and what they don't. Try to be a bit of someone they always wanted to know. If they voted for Blair don't tell any jokes about him. If they're against animal killing don't say you would like to go on a safari.

Find out if they are old-fashioned, easy going, what jobs they do, what they hobbies are like, what habits annoy them so you make sure you don't behave that way in the meeting. If they're non-smokers, don't light up a cigarette in front of them.

A man doesn't have to wear fresh, ironed clothes. But he should avoid casual jeans and white t-shirt. Find something in between that might look like a casual wear but with a style.

A girl should wear nice girly dress but nothing too seductive. You don't want your parents to think you two are having sex. Behave naturally, reveal your happiness. Feel free to laugh and speak about your future plans (apart from baby and marriage topics). Don't kiss in front of your parents while you talk. Make light-hearted jokes and show that you appreciate their sense of humour too.

Ask if you can help you partner's mother in the kitchen or dad with turning sausages on a grill. Let them trust you. There are many more tips on sensible dating sites.

Before you even get to meet in-laws, you may have to navigate the treacherous waters of online match-making. On the first date, don't put too much make up on your face. You don't want to hide behind a mask and you should be a perfect dating single. Decide if you want to put more or lips or eyes, don't make it all shiny around. If you're planning to eat, better go for the eyes as these will last longer. If you're unsure use some help from near make-up artist.

For women, remember to impress him on every date, not only for the first time. And me, every time you can look different and surprise her she'll be interested in you.

If your date changes the subject every time you ask about their personal life, marital status, opinion on online dating or if you have ever committed any crime - beware.

It's not easy to avoid liars online or turn one into someone who is positive-minded and honest. If you suspect him of telling a lie, ask what are the things he likes in people. Then say a bit about yourself. Let him know that the most important thing is honesty. When he is evading your question, don't let him change the subject too easily.

Say that this subject he is talking about must be very interesting and you would really like to know the story. You can comfort him with telling  'you can tell me anything'. If you're sure that he is lying or clearly gets stressed out because of your insistence just leave it, but make note.

By then, you already know there's something wrong and you don't want to hear  'I murdered someone yesterday' so as to become another witness. Watch his behaviour.

If he is obviously nervous, looking everywhere but at you, rapidly drinking or grabbing food, probably he still wants to change the topic. The writing is on the wall. It probably isn't going to work between the two of you.


2 Responses to "Nervy first meeting with your in-laws-to-be"

chris's picture


Thu, 06/12/2008 - 15:05
<p><strong><u>Chris Gaynor</u></strong></p> Does being in a close family circle affect an outsider who comes into the family. It's a lot like the relationship in the 1970's film The Godfather. My family are a close circle, and i'm sure it must have been nerve racking meeting everybody when he first met my sister, who is now happily married to him!