I often feel irritated, sad, or indifferent watching Hollywood treatment of classics, but never before was I angry, the way I felt after watching the latest Three Musketeers 3D. The name itself was a turnoff, like a new version of some group simulation swordfight game, but lets leave it at that. Three Musketeers was a murder of a classic.
Coming to the movie, the only thing which was a revelation to me was Orlando Bloom as a comic. The man actually can act…contrary to what critics say. Some good CGI, which was incidentally a turn off for me, but then I am old fashioned when it comes to classics. If you go to have a couple of hours of no holds barred brainless fun, then this movie is ripe for you. Have some popcorns, colas, or maybe a family dinner after this, and come back to forget it. Really, that is a request. Please do not remember this movie. It is an abomination of history.
And there is my problem. You see, I don’t mind brainless fun. I don’t mind CGI overdose, and I definitely don’t mind Milla Jovovich with a couple of swords kicking some arrogant chauvinist derrieres. But I would go to see Resident Evil for that. Not Three Musketeers.
To start with, the story is totally different than the book. To say that it is “loosely based” on the book would be prevarication. Milady de Winter was seductive, not aggressive, D’artagnan was not some hot headed adrenaline junkie, and Athos, Porthos, Aramis were obviously not some quick quipping buffoons. They are part of history, albeit fictionalized history, history of Europe, of the class structure and class struggle in Europe, of the place from where the World got modern rule of law, and modern democracy and industry, and the concept of revolution against state. The novels of both Romantic and Victorian era portrays the deceit, treachery and fighting spirit of a civilization which went on to control the destiny of the whole World for the next two hundred years to come. And European history, for good or for bad, is entwined with our own history. To distort it and turn it into a two hour time pass is almost equal to denying it.
I just wish we don’t lose the meaning and devalue such important episodes of history, like we did to so many things, just for the sake of some cheap superficial ephemeral and shallow computer generated thrills. And then keep wondering why ten year old kids think Trojan to be some kind of computer virus only.
( Read my other previous reviews here. )